Christmas time for many is a time of happiness and cheer and lots of gifts. But for anyone who has lost a loved one………Christmas can almost be completely ruined and marked by sadness and ‘grinch-like’ emotions.
Sigh……this is my first Christmas without my little sister. And I must admit that I have been doing everything possible to keep myself busy and not dwell on the fact that she is gone. But then while buying gifts, it hit me that I had to buy 1 less gift this Christmas………….😭
And there is something about grief that brings up every issue and imsecurity in your life to the surface! You suddenly see yourself with ‘new’ eyes and realise what a terrible person you are and what an amazing person your loved one was! Which makes us even sadder 😩.
But perhaps God is allowing all of this so that He can help me. And so that He can make me even more whole than I ever was before.
My little sister suffered with kidney disease for 2 and a half years. And yet, this is not what characterized her life. You know what did?
She loved to laugh! She loved to have fun. She loved to be silly.
And despite her circumstances and the extreme exhaustion that she felt most days, she still CHOSE to enjoy life!
I have been learning so many lessons from her life. Yet during this period of grief, I have amazingly found this lesson to be the most difficult one for me to learn. How does one choose to laugh and be silly when you don’t feel that way?!
Well perhaps that is the problem………..my feelings.
I have let my emotions control my life for so long – anxiety, fear, rejection, low self esteem – that I don’t seem to know how to live any other way. I have been coping my whole life.
That’s right. COPING.
So now I have made a drastic decision before 2018 rolls over into a whole new year – It’s time to stop coping and start enjoying life.
And the same is my encouragement to YOU today! STOP COPING!!!
And let the waves of love and joy roll over you so that you can heal properly and move forward on this journey called life.
- Go ahead and buy that dress that you fell in love with at the store.
- Yes you deserve another scoop of ice-cream 😉
- Why not ask that girl/guy out? You never know what can happen!
- Run around the house singing at the top of your lungs!
- Go to the beach just because! You don’t need a reason and you don’t need alot of people to go with you. 🌊⛱
- Sign up for a dance/swimming/art/cooking class!
- Go to the cinema alone. Why do you have to wait on someone to go? 🤔
- Just have fun!!
- STOP worrying about the money you’re spending 🙄
I just had to throw in that last one 😄 because the struggle is real! Stressing about money only results in more anxiety 😒.
Let’s choose to live NOW.
So that by 2019 it’ll be a habit.
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone so choose life TODAY.