Loving others

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What does it really mean to love others?

Should it be from afar?

Should it be only through showering gifts on them?

Should it be only those that are easy to love?

We ALL struggle in this area sometimes.

But Romans 13:9-10says this:

For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery,” “You shall not murder,” “You shall not steal,” “You shall not bear false witness,” “You shall not covet,” and if there is any other commandment, are all summed up in this saying, namely, “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no harm to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.


Sadly, the truth is that many of us actually do live by this verse.

Why do I say that?

Well because……To love your neighbor as yourself requires one very important ingredient: – LOVING YOURSELF!

If an ingredient is missing from a cake recipe, the cake will most likely fail. Similarly, if self love is lacking from your life – You CANNOT love others properly.

You will love them using the parameters which you apply to yourself.

So then, what are the parameters that you have been attaching to yourself?

Here are mine:

  • Love is based and measured by how well I perform.

  • I criticize myself a lot.

  • I overthink things because I want to do everything perfectly.

  • I am afraid to receive love.

  • If I do not think that I look good, I do not feel confident.

  • I struggle with needing people’s approval all of the time.

  • I always think that someone is thinking something negative about me.

Whew! That is alot!

Go ahead and list yours. Be real and honest with yourself! Hiding your weaknesses doesnt help you get any stronger.

OK so do you see now why you struggle to love others?

We ‘love’ them the same way we ‘love’ ourselves! 🤦‍♀️

Sigh……. No don’t beat yourself up about it. Let’s see what else the Word of God says:

Matthew 22:37-39 ESV

And he said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.


Yup there it is again…..love your neighbour as yourself.

But in this verse we get a better idea of what the secret behind loving others is: Loving GOD!

I want to go soooooo much deeper into this topic so please look out for my next post 😊.

For now, I want to leave a list of steps that will help you learn to love others better.


  1. Love the Lord above all things.
  2. Be your friends’ or family’s #1 cheerleader.
  3. Be their #1 prayer warrior.
  4. Put others before yourself.
  5. Create a home of peace and joy for others to come to and feel welcome in.
  6. Love others the way Jesus loves YOU.
  7. Be intentional about developing healthy relationships.
  8. Find out more about what the scriptures says about you – How much God loves you and how you should love others.

1 John 3:18

My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.


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