Being Alone

Sigh.

Right now I am laying on my bed, watching videos on YouTube…….and I am completely alone.

I am free to do what I want, when I want, how I want!!!!!!!!!

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But I am so used to having a structure to my day that honestly………………I don’t know what to do!!!! šŸ˜Ÿ

I miss my little sister for moments like this.

She was so much fun to be around. We would enjoy talking about our business plans, or dancing or laughing at some crazy thing she had done šŸ˜.

She was the fun one. Not me.

I was the big sister!!! The responsible one. The reliable one. The not so fun one.

And now that she is gone, I have had many moments like this. Moments where I realise that sadly…………..I am BORING!!!! šŸ™„

And more and more I see the wisdom of God in telling me to move out on my own.

I need to find ME.

I have been living on my own for about 6 months now and I have battled with feelings of loneliness off and on during that time.

But the most amazing thing happened over those 6 months:

Turns out………I LOVE TO COOK!!!

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When I was at home with my family, I was not exactly the chef type. My sisters were pros at cooking though!!!!!! But I was great at baking bread and making juice šŸ˜‚.

And yet they still appreciated me for it! You just gotta love family ā¤.

So honestly I surprised myself at how good I am at cooking! šŸ˜

Wraps filled with the veggies (and minced beef) from the first pic! Heaven!!! šŸ˜‹

I tried an italian sausage pizza and a minced beef pizza. Delicious!! šŸ‘Œ

But I would not have learned that………..

If I wasn’t alone.

There are so many benefits to being alone! But some drawbacks too.

Benefits:

  • You learn about yourself – your capabilities, your strengths, your weaknesses
  • It forces you to see yourself – your flaws and insecurities
  • You get to relax without being interrupted
  • You get to spend more time with God
  • You have control over how your home looks!
  • You have control over your time – You can do whatever you WANT!!!
  • You can dance or sing through your entire house with abandon šŸ˜„
  • Having guests over is a treat! You get to be a host!
  • It is good preparation for marriage
  • You learn how to spend money wisely – honestly you are forced to!

Drawbacks:

  • The silence can become deafening
  • There isn’t anyone there physically to talk to about your day
  • There isn’t anyone there to see your accomplishments
  • You have to reach out to others intentionally.
  • Fear can become a problem if you let your mind (and the enemy) have too much leeway.
  • You can become resentful – mad at your friends for not visiting or calling.
  • You can become too independent and feel like you don’t need anyone.
  • You can get weird and begin talking to yourself šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø
  • You have to do everything for yourself! Even when you’re sick!!!!

But I have got to say that despite the drawbacks and the periodical feelings of loneliness…….I am learning to like being alone.

And even though I miss my little sister, I am learning now what it means to HAVE FUN!!! And how to find the fun in myself.

I am learning about ME.

And it feels GOOD!!!

Herb roasted potatoes and a sauce I created myself!

Chicken Alfredo!!!!!

So change your perspective! As I like to say now “You’re not alone. You’re single!”

So go on and LIVE!! And learn the lessons God has for you in this season.

It will be worth it šŸ˜Šā¤.

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