Today has been one of those days……
A day full of LESSONS.
You ever had one of those?
A day where God speaks to you and teaches you multiple lessons that you really need in order to MOVE FORWARD. Because honestly, its easy to live the Christian life………and not grow. And just happily remain comfortable.
And well…….I’ve been starting to get comfortable. Or at least I have not been liking God’s methods for taking me OUT of my comfort zone!
So everytime He lets something happen, all I do is retaliate. Angrily. 🤦♀️🙈
Like a wild animal that’s found a comfortable spot to sleep in and has no plans on moving from it.
Well TODAY, from the moment I woke up He began speaking to me. And He told me to get up and go to my prayer room. Right Now.
So I did. (After a few minutes……*shame*)
And I sat on the floor waiting on Him to tell me what to do. Then I looked to my left, saw my notebook and began to write. I didn’t know what I was going to write about, I was just writing.
But God has an amazing way of showing us ourselves. And boy did He show me!!!!
So Lesson#1 is:
Stop being a baby.
That’s right. I wanted everyone to baby me, hug me, lay my head on their shoulder and tell me that everything was going to be alright.
But life isn’t always like that!!
I needed to just let go of my baggage, believe that God was in control and get over myself.
Sometimes God has to be harsh with us (like a good Father would) and tell us the truth. It doesn’t make sense moving around in circles. There is work to be done!!!
So I did it. Prayed, cried screamed and let it all go. With no intentions of picking them back up again.
And I was about to get ready for work when I felt like I shouldn’t go to work today.
But I mean, after telling God I’ll trust Him, I felt like I really should obey Him with this (to throw a tantrum now would be pointless!).
And this led to Lesson#2:
God should be your priority, not your job.
It hit me that I was more loyal to my job than I was to God. I always tried to be present and I was dedicated no matter what they asked of me.
And I should be even more so, WITH GOD!
God has plans for our lives that may or may not include our present jobs. So getting a good report at work should not be nearly as important as getting a good report from The Lord.
It was a real eye-opening revelation for me! I hadn’t realised how much I had wanted to get a good report that reflected my good attendance. Man’s accolades could never match up to getting a “Well Done!” from Christ when we go to Heaven.
And so I spent today with God. I washed and cooked but was sure to spend time in worship and communion with Him. And while on my laptop I felt led to watch a short film titled Paid in Full.
Now lemme be completely honest……..the movie is very corny and not very well thought out at all! But when I tried to switch to another movie, I felt as if the Holy Spirit was saying ‘Give it a chance’.
So I watched it out.
And God hit me my third lesson for today!! Lesson#3:
You do not have to keep condemning yourself and punishing yourself for past sins.
Your debt has been PAID IN FULL!!!!!
I don’t know if there is anyone else out there like me, but sadly while growing up I developed this mentality that rewards are earned. They are not given freely.
Love is earned.
Forgiveness is earned.
Blessings are earned.
And mistakes……..deserve punishment.And it turns out that I have been applying this mindset to my faith in Christ!
So it’s like: ‘Yes God thank you for dying for my sins…….but I really shouldn’t make any mistakes. I shouldn’t sin at all!! I should follow the rules. Because breaking the rules lead to …….punishment.’
And that is how I have been living. No one else has been punishing me, but I have been punishing myself – with my words, with my thoughts, with my disgust in my inability to just get things right!
But there was no need for that.
My debts (the mistakes, the struggles, the sins that all deserve eternal death) have been wiped CLEAN.
That mindset has now been broken.
But the movie also challenged me to share my faith more.
God has been so remarkably good to me! He literally saved me from losing my mind and He wants me to share that testimony with others!!
There is no need for shame. Or fear. Or doubt.
This Christian walk is not for the faint of heart. We have to be willing to suffer for the Gospel of Jesus Christ!