Grief and moving forward

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Today would have been her 27th birthday.

It’s been 2 years already since my little sister passed away. Sigh…I still miss her dearly.

She was my dancing partner and one of my best friends. She was the light in our household. The joy of every family gathering. A blessing to every person that ever met her.

When she died….time shattered. EVERYTHING CHANGED in my life.

But God has truly healed my heart. In 2019, I did alot of crying, bawling, and asking God for an answer for her passing. I had ALOT of things to heal from:

Regrets,

Guilt,

Fear of losing another loved one,

Sheer Pain in my heart from losing her….

It has not been easy. But I would have to say that last year, God truly helped me deal with it all.

This entire blog is filled with the life lessons that I learned and had to deal with from 2018 to now (thanks God 😊). Because of God’s leading, I started this blog and writing became a source of healing for me.

It has been an incredible journey! And now I am free spiritually and mentally, growing in my relationship with God, and healed to the point that God sent me my husband!!!!

Before my little sister died, I had no idea how much my life was in shambles. As a family we were held together by God and by the fact that Anna needed us. Her kidney failure diagnosis crushed our hearts! But we never got a chance to stop and truly process what was happening because everything happened so fast.

We went from the diagnosis to suddenly dealing with the fact that she had to do dialysis, to her surgeries to put in different catheters, to daily visits to the hospital to see her. It was a rollercoaster of emotions.

I developed really bad acid reflux and had to start eating oats to deal with it.

My other sister and I would sit in the hospital carpark and cry before we went up to see her. Sigh……

But I thank God for the time that we had with her after she got past those struggles. My sister died as a strong 25 year old that you would never have guessed was sick.

She got past every single one of those hurdles placed in her path. She learned how to drive for herself. She used her testimony in spoken word pieces. She started dancing again and even joined a dance school! She was amazing.

And she was about to totally beat kidney disease by getting a kidney transplant. But sadly…..it didn’t happen the way we had hoped.

Yet, I know that my sister is free now. Truly free and rid of kidney disease and dialysis.

In a way, I guess God found a way to set us all free……me, my little sister and our family. It’s crazy but if she hadn’t died, I am not sure how my life would be right now. It may have been different. Only God knows.

But even though 2 years ago I couldn’t understand why He would do such a terrible thing:

Now I get it.

Loss isn’t always defeat. Death is not the end.

Once you are in Christ, there is HOPE of an eternal life with Him ❤

I pray healing and restoration for every person that has lost a loved one.

Have a blessed week guys. 🌷
***Written in honour of my little sister. The warrior. ***

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