Speak the truth in LOVE

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I literally just finished giving my husband a pep talk. He had been feeling down because a close friend of his called him and gave him really hard critique about his most recent short film. Yup. My husband did a short film!!! He did it based on my church’s theme for November – TOXIC. He put his blood, sweat and tears into that production. He used youths from different branches of our church and we all had so much fun recording it. I know that they are all proud of what came out of it.

Yet his friend had the audacity to beat him down for it being ‘too typical’. Was he there? Did he notice all the techniques Sheldon used in recording and editing it? Did he have just a little bit of grace for the completely amateur acting (because ammmmm they are amateur actors!)?


It hurt my husband bad. And isn’t that just like some people. All they can see is the negative and no positives. I just know that it had to be the Holy Spirit that gave me the grace and the tactful words to encourage my husband to keep on trying in spite of his friend’s words.

But what stood out to me in what I was saying to him was that true criticism should always highlight the positives and pinpoint the areas that need work. We should never just beat someone down. Tell them what they did well! And then say “You see this part though? If you had done such and such….it could be so much better!”. A person that comes at you with only evil, hard hitting, soul crushing words came precisely and only with that intent. They had no intention of helping you become better at what you are doing.

True criticism should always highlight the positives and pinpoint the areas that need work.

Now, in his friend’s defense (before you all decide that you hate him lol), he knows no better! How do we learn to give harsh criticism? It is learned from others. From our parents (who also did not know better), from our ‘friends’ at school who had esteem problems and picked on you to make themselves feel better. Whatever the means, it was learned.

But what about the people (that we all know in our lives) who always have something positive to say and always know how to give positive criticism? Well…..for them it was learned too!

Which one are you?

Whatever your answer, just remember that:

We all have a choice in this life. A choice to build up or pull down others with our words.

Let’s do some self introspection and seek to make the right choice. Which amazingly was exactly what the November theme was all about! Giving negative criticism is a TOXIC MINDSET that needs to be firstly identified and purged from our system through prayer and asking God to help us be free of it.

All of last month (and honestly, this month too) God has been identifying things in my life that I need to let go of. Things that He did not put there but sadly ……..LIFE did. These toxic things in our lives makes us become toxic people! And God is the only one who can help us get the detox that we desperately need.

aaaahhhhhhh……….God is so amazing in the way that He works. Here it is that my husband did a film about a specific topic and bam! Someone who missed the message becomes well…….a perfect example of the message. What an awesome lesson for us all.

Have a blessed weekend everyone! ❤

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