Thine will be done

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Usually I am a really positive person. I can always see the silver lining in a bad situation or focus on the rainbow and butterflies instead of the storm. But lately…..

I’ve been struggling.

God has blessed me with things that I have been praying! We are in a newer, bigger apartment and recently we found out that I’m pregnant! 😳😊 But if I am really honest, this has not been the experience I was expecting.

I get hungry faster than I am able to prepare meals which causes me to get cranky. My mouth tastes weird and so, many things no longer taste good to me. I have pee at least twice during the night and several times during the day. Not to mention the list of things that is recommended that you do not eat/drink! It causes me so much anxiety and even resentment (shame) because I keep trying to do everything right.

Perfection. It seems to have reared its ugly head again. Did it even leave?! 🤔😞 excuse me a minute while I face the hard truth.

Where have I placed God in the midst of all of this?! I clearly have lost sight of what He has been trying to teach me through this experience:

Surrender. Obedience. Humility. Trust.

My perspective of this whole situation clearly needs to change!

Recently, I started reading the book of Luke and the story of Jesus’ birth really resonated with me. An angel appeared to Mary and told her that she would be with child, and Mary’s response is mindblowing in my opinion.

And Mary said, “Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” And the angel departed from her.
Luke 1:38 ESV

How many times do we truly mean it when we say “Lord, Your will be done” ? I will say this – after walking through this experience, I have gained a whole new respect for the level of submission, humility and surrender Mary exemplified with her statement. It reminds me that even in THIS season that I am walking through, my answer is to be one of surrender to God. “Lord it’s hard right now, but I trust You to bring me through it”. Because ultimately, He knows what He is doing. I pray this encourages some of you as well to keep holding on and even muster up the courage to say:

THINE WILL BE DONE

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