Bring it forth

Ok so confession time……..

My last post was actually written over a week ago. And for some reason (exhaustion I guess), I didn’t post it.

Yet I remember having a nagging feeling all day. I felt sick on the inside honestly. As if I had missed out on an important opportunity or assignment.

And then last Friday I had another experience where I didn’t speak up at an event and say something that had been on my heart, this time because of fear. And again I felt sick in my stomach.

While driving home however, I felt as if the Holy Spirit was teaching me something: Don’t ever let Purpose die within you.

When God ‘impregnates’ us with a purpose, it is up to us to bring it forth.

WE HAVE TO PUSH!!!! Like a momma in labour. Push……..speak up, stand out, take that leap of faith.

Or else it becomes a ‘stillbirth’ within us. Un-tapped potential. Un-reached goals. Un-written books. Un-built businesses……the list goes on.

What are you keeping inside of you?

What is it that God told you to do that you didn’t do?

Overcoming Self Condemnation

God is so amazing you guys!

One morning at around 4:21 a.m. here in Trinidad and Tobago, the Holy Spirit laid a piece of healing on my spirit.

He helped me to realize that “It is not my fault”.

Now, I could go into details as to what He was referring to (and I will at the end of this post), but let’s just consider how many things in our life we have accepted blame for…..

In many cases, things that actually wasn’t our fault!

What was it for you?

An abusive relationship?

Being raped or molested?

A major car accident that you survived?

Being robbed at gunpoint?

Childhood scars?

Daddy issues?

Parents’ divorce?

Whatever the situation, many times we accept responsibility for it believing that somehow our choices led to that result.

And on the inside…….it causes a deep fear. One that gets ‘triggered‘ from time to time……. by some of the simplest of situations or conversations! Which then leaves you with an unshakeable anxiety.

Sigggggghhhhh………….

Today God wants me to tell you that:

It wasn’t your fault.

None of it was!!!! You didn’t cause that person to feel that way/act that way. It was their choice.

And yes, you have probably thought of all of the different scenarios. That if only you had or had not done this/that, it never would have happened!

But you don’t actually know that for sure.

Only God knows. He alone is all knowing. And He knows your story from beginning to end. Inclusive of that ‘moment’ that you wish had never happened.

So stop beating yourself up about it.

Stop speaking words of condemnation over your life.

Stop agreeing with the thoughts of the enemy.

Stop speaking self-imposed curses over your life!!

God knew it would happen.

So……….

This morning I breathed it all out…….and I let go of the blame.

Because of a past ‘relationship’ (you know what I mean! It was but actually wasn’t an actual relationship lol) I developed a fear of causing men to lust over me.

I always figured that I had to ensure that I dressed and carried myself appropriately so as to keep men’s minds from wandering.

I put alot of pressure on myself thinking that if I acted right, they would think right and thereby…….act right too.

And if they didn’t, it was my fault.

This morning God helped me realize that it had nothing to do with me! What a person thinks or does is their decision.

It’s not my fault. 😭

Sigh………Let’s move forward into 2020 a bit lighter than when we first came in………..

Paid in FULL

Today has been one of those days……

A day full of LESSONS.

You ever had one of those?

A day where God speaks to you and teaches you multiple lessons that you really need in order to MOVE FORWARD. Because honestly, its easy to live the Christian life………and not grow. And just happily remain comfortable.

And well…….I’ve been starting to get comfortable. Or at least I have not been liking God’s methods for taking me OUT of my comfort zone!
So everytime He lets something happen, all I do is retaliate. Angrily. πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈπŸ™ˆ

Like a wild animal that’s found a comfortable spot to sleep in and has no plans on moving from it.

Sigh…….

Well TODAY, from the moment I woke up He began speaking to me. And He told me to get up and go to my prayer room. Right Now.

So I did. (After a few minutes……*shame*)

And I sat on the floor waiting on Him to tell me what to do. Then I looked to my left, saw my notebook and began to write. I didn’t know what I was going to write about, I was just writing.

But God has an amazing way of showing us ourselves. And boy did He show me!!!!

So Lesson#1 is:

Stop being a baby.


That’s right. I wanted everyone to baby me, hug me, lay my head on their shoulder and tell me that everything was going to be alright.

But life isn’t always like that!!


I needed to just let go of my baggage, believe that God was in controlΒ  and get over myself.

Whew!!!
Sometimes God has to be harsh with us (like a good Father would) and tell us the truth. It doesn’t make sense moving around in circles. There is work to be done!!!

So I did it. Prayed, criedΒ  screamed and let it all go. With no intentions of picking them back up again.

And I was about to get ready for work when I felt like I shouldn’t go to work today.

😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧😧

But I mean, after telling God I’ll trust Him, I felt like I really should obey Him with this (to throw a tantrum now would be pointless!).

And this led to Lesson#2:

God should be your priority, not your job.


Double whew!!!!

It hit me that I was more loyal to my job than I was to God. I always tried to be present and I was dedicated no matter what they asked of me.

And I should be even more so, WITH GOD!

God has plans for our lives that may or may not include our present jobs. So getting a good report at work should not be nearly as important as getting a good report from The Lord.


It was a real eye-opening revelation for me! I hadn’t realised how much I had wanted to get a good report that reflected my good attendance. Man’s accolades could never match up to getting a “Well Done!” from Christ when we go to Heaven.

πŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™ŒπŸ™Œ

And so I spent today with God. I washed and cooked but was sure to spend time in worship and communion with Him. And while on my laptop I felt led to watch a short film titled Paid in Full.

Now lemme be completely honest……..the movie is very corny and not very well thought out at all! But when I tried to switch to another movie, I felt as if the Holy Spirit was saying ‘Give it a chance’.

So I watched it out.

And God hit me my third lesson for today!! Lesson#3:

You do not have to keep condemning yourself and punishing yourself for past sins.


Your debt has been PAID IN FULL!!!!!


πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«πŸ˜«

I don’t know if there is anyone else out there like me, but sadly while growing up I developed this mentality that rewards are earned. They are not given freely.

Love is earned.

Forgiveness is earned.

Blessings are earned.

And mistakes……..deserve punishment.

And it turns out that I have been applying this mindset to my faith in Christ!

So it’s like: ‘Yes God thank you for dying for my sins…….but I really shouldn’t make any mistakes. I shouldn’t sin at all!! I should follow the rules. Because breaking the rules lead to …….punishment.’

And that is how I have been living. No one else has been punishing me, but I have been punishing myself – with my words,Β with my thoughts, with my disgust in my inability to just get things right!

But there was no need for that.

My debts (the mistakes, the struggles, the sins that all deserve eternal death) have been wiped CLEAN.


That mindset has now been broken.

But the movie also challenged me to share my faith more.

God has been so remarkably good to me! He literally saved me from losing my mindΒ and He wants me to share that testimony with others!!

There is no need for shame. Or fear. Or doubt.

This Christian walk is not for the faint of heart. We have to be willing to suffer for the Gospel of Jesus Christ!

And for the first time………..I am willing to do just that.


Prison Perspective

I therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

Ephesians 4:1‭-‬3 ESV

These verses are literally at the top of my favorite verses list. I love Paul’s way of writing! And to be honest, the first time I read it I had been struggling with humility and God used these verses to really minister to me. So they are really dear to my heart.

This morning however, while reading I got a new perspective…….

Continue reading “Prison Perspective”

Lessons from the movie SING

Yes you read that correctly.

It’s amazing how much we can learn from a movie when the Holy Spirit guides us.

πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯πŸ’₯

Some nights ago I sat down and pretty much forced myself to relax and watch a movie. And I felt led to watch the animated movie: SING.

AND THE MESSAGE BEHIND IT BLEW ME AWAY!!!!

After watching the movie……I felt so…….INSPIRED!

I immediately pulled out my phone and began to write out what I had learned from each character. And honestly,

It’s pretty Life Changing πŸ’–

Continue reading “Lessons from the movie SING”